Sweet Dreams Nan, By James Utting
01/07/2020
 
So it’s lunchtime on a Wednesday afternoon?
Whilst the rest of the world would be going about their lives busying themselves – I’m confident Nan will have been somewhere enjoying some bread with a generous amount of butter, and relishing the effects of whatever she added to her coca cola to make it taste better
We are here today to celebrate the life of a very special lady, Nan to me, Mum, Great-Grandma, Nan-Nan or Sylvia to others. I feel honoured to have the opportunity to share with each of you some nice tales or memories that people have contributed.
 
Rather unsurprisingly, I was inundated with lovely memories and moments that people wanted to share, and when reading through each of these, there were some clear themes that played through – enjoying time with her family, entertaining people both little and large, cooking and crafting, or having a good party.
 
Nan was super talented and very hands on throughout; talents ranging from her incredible flower arrangements, to the most beautiful china painting  - often of flowers and birds, or knitting clothes that continue to be passed on through generations. She was in fact so talented, that she did flowers for people’s weddings, and also made Christmas decorations for our front doors.
 
Her talents did not stop there, one thing I admired most about Nan were her green fingers – her gardens always brought joy to those that entered them. The pride and care she took in nurturing them was an inspiration, and I hope one day to have a garden that Nan would be proud of.
 
So many of the memories people shared were based in Nan & Granddad’s gardens – whether down in the woods with the grandkids, hosting bonfire nights for family and friends, walking to the nearby conker tree, or watching us play in the snow from the warmth of her living room

So moving from crafting to cooking – whether it be Christmas meals, intimate dinner parties, or less intimate giant parties, baking with her grandkids (and letting them lick the cake mixture), or just outright looking after others when they needed it – Nan was a wonderful cook. Whilst it must be said – her cooking was not always without drama;

One time Nan was cooking dinner for the family at their home in Chadwell Heath, when Ken agreed he would go shopping for school shoes – both surprised and excited at this opportunity, she left the house immediately – in doing so, nearly burning it down courtesy of the chip pan!   
 
Another instance came some years after that, when one Christmas we noticed a young Stephanie, perhaps 5 years old rolling around under the staircase like she was slightly possessed – perplexed by her behaviours, after feeding Stephanie nearly a tray full, Nan soon remembered the extra tipple she had included in the mince pies that year  - oops!
Nan always loved entertaining both for family and friends, she was a great party giver, and in her later years focused mainly on being a party goer.
Nan was a fashionable lady, always on the lookout for new trends. She would always be heard asking the ladies where they got their outfits from. Somewhat traditional in her attire, she never could get her head around the concept of ripped jeans that the girls would wear around her.
 
Shopping really was something Nan loved – whether it be for clothes, or for Christmas and birthday gifts – she absolutely loved it, it’s nice to see Nan’s spirit continues through the spending habits of her daughter and granddaughters!
Nan was fantastic at playing with children. She had an excellent cupboard of toys and always got stuck in with us playing in the woods, or on the floor with us. She always loved young children, and really enjoyed her grandchildren, and later her great grandchildren. She had so much patience with us, whether that be teaching us to make cakes, or making up children’s bedtime stories for us to drift off to
When we would go there as children she would always let the grandkids play ‘birthdays’ - lighting the candles in the dining room and singing happy birthday to whoever in the family had the next birthday (whether they were in the room or not!).
 
Funny enough, Nan had some ‘old fashioned’ ideas too that we could not evade – little things like washing your face before going to bed. I picked up a bar of soap for the first time in years the other day, and it brought me right back to her bathroom in Bowhay when she would scrub my face before Bed as I tried to escape. Stephanie had similar memories, albeit her face washing experience always ended in Nan wiping a smile onto her face before bed (clearly she was less skilled at escaping the soap than I).
 
Beyond each of these themes touched upon so far, the one that played through strongest was the happiness Nan found in spending time with her family.

Whether in amongst the action, having a little catch up, or quietly watching on; Nan was unanimously recognised as being happiest when surrounded by her family – quite fitting that this absurd pandemic has led to such an intimate setting today.
 
She was of course loved by so many people beyond her family - friends, neighbours and even her gardeners and carers, they have all sent their condolences and best wishes, since passing, and said how fond they were of her and how she made them laugh. The hall would be packed had it not been for social distancing.  

Nan was a wonderful loving wife to our Granddad, Bob – in both sickness and in health. They had a lovely life together, full of happy times, a great social life, wonderful holidays and countless parties. Nan was a caring lady, who loved to look after people – that is probably why she found it difficult having the roles reversed later in life. 
Nan was a wonderful mum – bringing up two fun and intelligent children that she was always proud of and there for. After an eventful few driving lessons, Nan passed her test and had a family car. She would use it to drive Mum, Ken and their friends down to Southend Seafront for the day.
 
In recent years – Nan did her best to visit every restaurant and pub across the county with my dad. She had it all worked out - she opted to give up her car to ensure he would collect her, take her to lunch, they would enjoy one another’s company, some tasty food, whilst Nan would have a delicious cocktail, and Dad no doubt would eat her dinner. At times they may have driven each other a little crazy, but she really appreciated all he did for her.

I recently learned that she worked as the school secretary for several years at the local secondary school, once Ken and Val were at school. Every Friday she would take Mum, who was still in the juniors, to the local café for lunch, where Mum always ordered the same meal – ham, chips and tomatoes.
 
Some of my fondest memories, were of the sleepovers we had at Nan’s house – I almost wanted to go to bed just so she could tell me a Mrs Smiler and Mickey the Monkey story. She was such a great story teller – that I remember each of these tales 30 years on.

Whilst no doubt the relationship Nan had with each of us is unique, I’m sure there were moments where advice was sought or offered. For me, Nan wisely took my advice on buying a bigger television, for Stephanie, Nan offered advice right until the very end on the pursuit of a successful love life. I’d love to hear afterwards any other memorable pieces of advice Nan had offered you over the years.
 
Nan was a lovely lady and will be missed by all. Reflecting on what we have just heard, and no doubt all taking some time to relive the fond memories you have of our Nan, there are some great values that she can leave with us as her legacy;
 
Stay close with your family, and enjoy each of the precious moments you get to spend with them
Take pride in all you have; whether that be your house or your garden, your family or your friends, your talents or your hobbies, or your memories and achievements
And last but not least, it’s never too early to make your coca cola taste better
 
For each of us, Nan’s spirit will live on. For some, in the sight of a jam doughnut, a beautiful flower arrangement, or through telling our little ones a Mrs Smiler story – She will always be in our hearts.

Sweet dreams Nan x